The "binder" helps me remember...

Dear Max -
What a joy being your mother is.  I decided that I need to pull out your binder from the hospital at least once a week and reread the medical journal that was kept by your doctors when you were born.  I'm grateful to have these writings documenting the 19 days prior to Daddy and I getting there.  Those 19 days of fighting you did.  My mind fills with millions of thoughts on the different outcomes that could have taken place, the "what ifs" all the decisions that were made, who made them and who didn't make them.  It's hard not to let my mind go to what feels like the millions of different outcomes that could have been.  But then my soul fills with peace, because all is exactly the way it was intended, you are here to be our son.  I don't pull this binder out often enough, only really when we are going to see a new doctor so they will have a full scope of your life.  And today we went to see Dr. Maller, she is a neurology specialist.  Don't get too ahead of yourself, we didn't go get your "brain" checked out cause your crazy...that is not a neurological issue, that's a "Max" issue!  We went on the orders of Dr. Downey because your still walking up on your toes, which can be anything from a habit to a neurological or developmental issue.  All went well at Dr. Maller's, it's nothing neurological or developmental, it is all in habit.  She suggested some hightop shoes, which I'm sure you will hate!  Because the other reason we went to see her is to discuss your sensitive feet.  She assured us that you definitely have sensitive feet, but to work with you on this by not giving in to your requests for no shoes or socks.  We must "power through"!  I suggested she come and hang out with you in the mornings when were getting ready and see how Dr. Maller feels about "powering through"!  She said to Daddy and I how very proud she is of the young boy you are growing into.  She said that given the rough start that you had, you are a well adjusted and behaved child!  Way to go Max!!  Well, after all this the take away for me...take out the binder more often!  In moments of frustration and weakness, it's a great reminder that we can do hard things as a family!  I love you Max!

Love,
Mom