Mommy's got it all wrong!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Dear Max,
So Monday was a big day! You started your first day at Preschool. I've been so nervous for you. Hoping that you will like the school, you will like the kids, the kids will like you, the teachers will like you. Just praying every moment, that everything will work out. Leading up to this day, it was just so hard to believe that I would be dropping you off at school, and wouldn't know a single sole there taking care of you! But I guess the truth of it is I didn't know Jaime when you started going to her house.... So of all the weeks for Daddy's schedule to be flipped, this is not the week I would have liked it to happen! Daddy has been going into work at 3:30 in the morning, so I have taken over the morning duties this week. Daddy has your mornings down, getting himself dressed, you dressed, your lunch made, making his lunch, feeding you breakfast and getting you to the babysitters on time. It's quite remarkable to me that he is able to accomplish this every morning... cause it has absolutely rocked my world trying to pull this off this week!

I dropped you off at your first day of school on Monday, we walked in and you were so excited, looking all around and eager to go into your classroom. Until I left...you cried...and cried... I then left...and I cried and cried. I cried the whole way to work. To be honest, this was not the first time I cried about this. The truth is I have been crying for a week leading up to this. But I knew I had to be brave! After school I picked you up, by far the highlight of the day. You were so excited to see your Mommy. However, as soon as we got to the car, you gave me the silent treatment! What's this!?!? Are you mad at me? Tuesday, we were at it again, up early, got dressed, lunch made out the door, got to the school, dropped you off and more crying... I left your classroom and headed out to the lobby, Shelly, the administrator said, "it's going to be ok, he will get use to it, and he calms so quickly" All I could think was... "stop talking to me, I need to run to my car so I can cry!" This is tearing my heart out! Still the highlight, picking you up at the end of the day, until the car ride home full of silence... Where is my little boy? This morning, we were at it again, dressed, lunch made out the door. Then as I'm driving to school it dawns on me... you must be thinking... "This lady is an IDIOT! When Daddy dropped me off, he never took me here! Does mommy not realize that this is not where I go?" A big change with more change never goes over well! Only a few more day's and daddy will be back on morning duty and hopefully this dropping off will go much better for the both of us! Oh, and I'll be honest, it also dawned on me this morning, that they don't give you breakfast at school...and we haven't had breakfast Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday morning... Maybe that is the problem, maybe your just hungry! Oh My! I'm not good at this!! Daddy! We need you back on morning duty!!